Ho ho!

We’ve been around for, what? 11? And we’re still posting like crazy!

Oh they always were second rate.

This, of course, means that we will re-open the site in 2014, just in time for the start of the news flurry! Look forward to:

See you here in eight years.

Hilarious!

Oh man. The SCUMM Bar. We completely forgot about that site. What has happened here? We used to update, like, every hour on the hour! We were hotter than the sun! Then what? The news dried up. And you know what? It’s all Ron Gilbert’s fault.

Ron met Gabez in London with an impish smile while chuckling “I stole all your Monkey Island news, Gabez.”

“But, but, why?”, Gabez spluttered in shock.

He winked and chewed idly on a few peanuts. “Because I’m Ron Gilbert,” he smirked, “and I am GOD.”

So that’s why there doesn’t seem to be much to “report on” these days. That, and the fact that, uh, LucasArts sucks now, and has done for a while. They’ve also pretty much confirmed that there will not be a Monkey Island 5. And let’s face it; anybody who has ever worked on the Monkey Island games are off doing bigger and better things these days anyway. Psychonauts for example. Or A Vampyre Story. Bone. Whatever Ron Gilbert is doing. And Double Fine will surely announce something new sooner or later. Dave Grossman just joined Telltale Games.

So let’s throw out a word here now: Mixnmojo. Some might say that’s three words. Some would argue that it’s not even a word at all. Whatever: Mixnmojo. That’s where we’ll be, and that’s where the real news is. Our Monkey Island gamespaces – which we without humbleness will claim are the largest on the web – are slowly being merged into Mojo’s game database. In fact, look forward to many major enhancements to Mojo as a result of the “merger.”

If you still want a Monkey Island-only site, there’s World Of Monkey Island with their comic and play to keep updated on. And probably fan-art too. And good for them, but The SCUMM Bar isn’t in that race anymore, as none of that bowls us over with excitement. If there’s a new Monkey Island game then we’ll cover it over at Mixnmojo just like we would have done it here, just probably better. Mojo will kind of be The SCUMM Bar Plus. Or Mojo Plus. You get the picture.

Incidentally, remember that Evolve or Die article Gabez wrote here last year? Well the sequel’s up on Mixnmojo, and is getting mass-exposure from some large gaming sites. That’s the kind of thing that we’re talking about here. Yeah? Yeah!

Will The SCUMM Bar stay online? Yep! While the data will be replicated to Mojo, and probably be updated too, The SCUMM Bar as it exists today will be as browsable as ever. (There won’t be any news orupdates though, they will be made at Mojo.) The Monkey Island series are four brilliant games and the way we’re remembering them now is a testament to their greatness; we look back at many other game we’ve played and think “yeah, that was fun for the time,” but thinking back at those adventure games and the Monkey Island games in particular we think “wow, those were great stories, great characters, great jokes, great atmosphere…” You don’t get that with your Doom 3s or your fancy Warcrafts. Sure, those kind of games are good, they’re great, but they’re not classics. Not even close. The Monkey Island games are classics in every sense of the word and as such they are timeless jewels that should be in not just every self-respecting gamer’s collection, but also in every self-respecting pop-culture aficionados.

And the newsletter. Ah, the newsletter! So many fond memories. The unfortunate thing is, Gabez thinks our admin system broke so he can’t get to the list of people who signed up for the damn thing. (This is a blatant lie that Gabez just came up with this yesterday. – Remi) Sorry about that, but we would like it to continue in some form or another over at Mixnmojo. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But some day. So keep your eyes pealed on Mojo and be prepared to sign up your name again if you want more monthly news-bites, and believe me it’ll be worth it.

And what else is there? Legend of Monkey Island is dead too, no matter what they say. Yeah, sure, they update sometimes about “amazing weekends,” but come on, you and I know the truth. Like The SCUMM Bar it will remain on the Internet, beautiful but essentially lifeless like a little fairy that drowned in a pot of honey.

So we’re closing, but will remain open. And no, this is not like the last time we closed. Did we ever actually explain what happened there? (Apart from the fact that Jake said it was very lame.)

See, we were going to close, but then we found out that our database wasn’t as mangled as the LF Network Police thought it was, and so we thought we might as well stay on the net and update as long as there was news. And yeah, we got some lovely comments from industry people, and we love them all very much like they’re our little babies, and we know for a fact that Remi printed some of them out, painted little hearts on them, and framed them, but really, we died the day that the last bit of Monkey Island news filtered through the net, just like every other Monkey Island fan-site. So, yeah, thanks for the nice comments and the great times, but the real news is in the future. That’s what news “is” – it’s new. Monkey Island is old. You do the math.

We’ll tell you this though. Gabez was playing a game earlier and listening to his iPod at the same time, because, you know, he’s totally hip and all that. He buys coffees at Starbucks and shop at M&S. As he was playing, some Monkey Island track came on – Scabb Island map music he thinks it was. Now he claims he never put it on his iPod, and he doesn’t know how it got on there. (He swears!) It somehow found its way in, with all the great and hip bands he probably listens to, like the Spice Girls or whatever, and as it was playing he was playing this game, and he was thinking “you can say what you like about Monkey Island, but damn, those games had atmosphere. And you don’t get that anymore, you really don’t. Okay well with Psychonauts and Beyond Good & Evil and stuff like that you do, but you know…” The point is that he’d forgotten that Monkey Island had that (and it’s LeChuck’s Revenge, easily the best of the series, which had that atmosphere the most). But we’ll always have Scabb Island. We didn’t use to, we’d lost it, until he heard that tune again. We got it back last night. It was magical.

So we are closing. Maybe it was the economic downturn? Was this place ever the same after we fired Pedgey and Blaze for being incompetent slobs? Anyway! Mojo it is from now on, and we hope you’ll be visiting us there. It’ll be like The SCUMM Bar, just better, and with actual updates.

Guybrush, you were fantastic. And you know what? So were we.

GabezEditor in ChiefRemiOwner and Bill Payer

Go read!

Hey, more than Gabzo wrote at least.

“My retardness is special and a unique experience”, insists the game’s creator. “My retarded ingenious humour maybe a real fan project will pick me up”, he continues, before adding: “most great cartoons such as the simpsons or family guy are about 98%”. I couldn’t agree more.

Download the game here, and discuss it over at Idle Thumps in this thread.

If you’re free on the weekend of May 7-8 and live in Europe then drop Ronzo a line to set up a meeting place.

“I don’t look upon this like it’s the end, I look upon it like it’s moving on you know. It’s almost like my work here’s done. I can’t imagine Jesus going ‘Oh, I’ve told a few people in Bethlehem I’m the son of God, can I just stay here with Mum and Dad now?’ No. You gotta move on. You gotta spread the word. You gotta go to Nazareth, please. And that’s, very much like… me.”
We wish Bill Tiller and co the best of luck in finding another publisher and finishing off what looks like a very promising game!

Update Autumn Moon have this to say about the break-up:

But were there any stories that you wished were true? Well don’t tell me about it – vote on the new poll instead! It’s democracy in action, possibly.

“I f*cking love it” exclaimed Cowell, “soon you wont be able to go near a club without hearing the hordes chanting – ‘Our Chan! in the middle of Dalnet!’, I’ll make a bloody fortune”.

Could this be the start of a Monkey Island revival? Gabez is already reported to be in talks with Harry Potter publishers Bloomsbury, over the rights to his latest fanfic. Expect to see it in the shops soon.

(APRIL FOOLS JOKE)